Now some of you may be reading this thinking, "fuck. Really?! I haven't, am I socially and sexually unaware??" Let's get this clear. I am not talking about the type of threesomes that you are all picturing right at this moment (don't try and deny it - you all have pretty much the same image in your head right now). Not the two guys, hi-fiving over the girl kind. Or the two leggy blondes and Hugh Hefner kind either. But everyone has been in a relationship with more than just their better half.
Here are a few examples of why:
1) Ex's. (The main one.)
They should really just disappear off the face of the planet as soon as a couple break up. Or at least off their phone, facebook, twitter, email, bbm, whatsapp and computer screen saver. Please and thank you. But it never happens. I wish that all of the guys I had been seeing had had horrendous break ups so at least, that way, they would be well and truly over the girls they had been with before me. The amount of guys that I have been with who have either mentioned their ex's...don't EVEN get me started. It's not okay to talk about them unless the sentence in which they mention them also contains the words, "I don't know why I was ever even with her, you're a million times better" - or words to that effect.
Another hate. Ex's who had minimal/no contact with the guy you were seeing after they broke up...UNTIL they found out that they were seeing someone new. Seriously. Fuck. Off. The usual female reaction to this would be; to find your facebook page and look through your pictures exclaiming how ugly you are, how your dress sense is terrible and probably get my friends to join in. This breed of ex's also tend to be the ones who, if they see you whilst out, instantly know who you are and stare you down and sometimes even strike out against you. Not cool. Your ex-boyfriend moved on. Glaring at me in a club will not help this. Over it you should get.
Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. The ULTIMATE thing that is NEVER okay to say is:
"She/he used to do it like this..." OR "I went there once with [insert ex's name here], we should go."
No. If you like something a certain why, by all means, chirp up. But do not adorn this statement with your ex's name or any sort of mentioning that this was how they did it. It will mean that your new other half will probably A - not want to do it purely for that reason and B - think of your ex on the off-chance that they do it. As far as taking someone new to somewhere you went with someone old, do it if you like the place but don't tell them. Recycling relationship ideas is never cool.
2) Third wheelsAs much as I am sure we all love out friends, no one loves one that tags along. At least not all the time.
Friends and boyfriends can get along, of course they can. But you don't want friends there when you're trying to get down to some boneage. Friends can find giving you space kinda difficult, especially if you have been single for a long time and have therefore seen them most days. They can sometimes struggle to cope with the fact that you have found someone new. Believe it or not they will probably almost see your new boy/girlfriend as competition for your love. This can be a massive pain in the arse. Especially if they don't particularly get on with one another. But try to make time for both of them and don't keep blowing one-off for the other and you should be okay. (Unless one or other of them is a biiit of a psycho and doesn't let you see the other - then you have issues that only a professional can help you with).
3) Family membersMost of us love our family and like spending time with them. But there's a time and a place.
The right time:
Sunday dinner. Really, especially as a student I think that there are few boy/girlfriends who are going to turn down the prospect of free food. Especially if its homemade and there's lots of it. Unless your family is like the Fockers, this scene is a good one.
The wrong time:
You are planning a holiday with your beau in question. You mention it to your mother. She exclaims, "Oh that sounds lovely! Let me check if I am free." This is bad. If it is your first holiday together, this is terrible. If however your family say they will pay for it and get you two your own room...this is up to debate.
It doesn't take a genius to get this right. So don't fuck it up.
4) Games consoles. Namely COD or FIFATo put it plainly...
No girl (or guy, if that's her thing) should be competing for attention with a games console. I don't care how new the game is, what level you are on, or how close you are to finishing. You should feel lucky that I'm with you and want to get naked in front of you. Put the controller down. Pause the game if you must. And do me.
Simple.
Hard as it may be to admit - most of us have been in some sort of polyamorous, threesome-esque relationship. In most forms this is going to end up pissing off one side of the couple so try your best to cut ties with the third member before your boy/girlfriend cuts ties with you. That isn't to say that you should be ignoring family and friends whilst in a relationship. But just make sure that you aren't having every meal with someone else in tow. Having one of these other people/things in your relationship will probably ultimately go down about as well as suggesting to your new girlfriend that you want to invite your ex-girlfriend into the bedroom. Yeah. THAT well.
Reblogged this on Vasile Roata.
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