There are two seemingly very different things I want to talk about this week. One being Valentine’s Day related/inspired and the other being music related…all will become clear. I hope.
It was a leap year this year which traditionally means that women can get involved with proposing wedding to their partner.
Over the Valentine’s weekend, having watched Channel 4′s “The Wedding Proposals” and something by a very similar title on BBC Three too, for some reason after both I found myself thinking about the role reversal of a woman proposing to her man. I don’t know WHY I was so shocked to see a woman in both shows proposing to her boyfriend. I kind of felt annoyed at myself upon, after further consideration, I decided I didn’t like the idea of a woman proposing.
I’m very much all for women being equal to their male counterparts but for some reason this proposal business just didn’t sit right with me. Traditionally I guess women are meant to kinda…sit around looking pretty, cooking and baking well, showing she is a mean hand at mopping and wonderful at child rearing until her partner bids her to be of high-enough quality to be deemed “marriage material” at which point a proposal will occur. Possibly a little bit more romance, and “wooing” is involved than that but you know what I mean.
Good little wifey
It comes down to the idea of the woman having to wait around until she is asked, (reminding me of being “seen but not heard”), this idea I don’t like. And on that basis part of me does think ye, sure, why not, ask your boyfriend to marry you if you feel you must cos you have been waiting too long.
I think it’s just the little girl in me who knows that when it comes to it, that I know that I don’t want to be the one doing the asking. I want to be in awe at the [hopefully] very imaginative and romantic way my future boyfriend/fiance/husband decides to propose to me. Showing how much they care and love me, in a very fairytale-esque way. That part of me wants to hold onto the tradition of the guy proposing to the girl.
Plus the practical side of me always thinks…well what would she give him? Guys don’t get engagement rings. So would she just get down on one knee, ask the question and that be that? Anyone know?…
That’s not to say that I would say that a woman proposing is ‘wrong’. I just don’t think that it’s what I would want for me.
Second thing I want to talk about on the basis of role reversals is how popular culture seems to be gradually leveling the playing field somewhat in regards to sex.
Rap music above most, has been renowned for using lyrics that are derogatory towards women. Who can forget Jay-Zs lyrics, ”I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”. Male rappers are forever tagging women as their “bitches”, “hoes” and the like. Often talking about how much sex they have had with all of these loose women. Chris Brown‘s current song “International Love” featuring Pitbull talks about all the women that they have basically shagged in every country and city that they have ever visited. Apparently the more you talk about sex, the less you are having…but I digress.
But I reckon that these tables are starting to turn. Despite there being plenty of songs written by male rappers with many many derogatory terms towards women in them, the same cannot largely be said about the lyrics in female lyricist’s songs. Being female, they are fighting back in a more direct and yet still, subtle way. Stooshe’s new song “Love Me” (that I am self-acknowledgingly obsessed with), has the lyrics in it that say,
“Listen mate, I don’t mean to brag, I’m telling you imma be the best you’ve had so lets roll. Don’t be taking your time, get it up, pack it in, blow my mind.”
These three girls aren’t flipping the tables by calling men a string of abusive names, but instead are saying, “yes I do have sex, I have sex like men have sex and I’m going to sing about it, what’s your point?”
“Listen mate, I don’t mean to brag, I’m telling you imma be the best you’ve had so lets roll. Don’t be taking your time, get it up, pack it in, blow my mind.”
These three girls aren’t flipping the tables by calling men a string of abusive names, but instead are saying, “yes I do have sex, I have sex like men have sex and I’m going to sing about it, what’s your point?”
Stooshe
Missy Elliot, Lauren Hill, Nicki Minaj and Kreayshawn, to name just a few are all lyricists who are not only showing that girl’s can do it too, but that they can do it just as well. Some of them are also using words like “whore”, “bitch” etc but because they are using them are arguably reclaiming the words. Who knows, this could in time mean they lose their current meanings.
Kreayshawn
There is now no such thing in Western societies as a “traditional” woman’s role. Since the equal opportunities act for employment came into place, and the pill came in and the skirt hems went up, things have never been the same.
Women continue to change society. I hope that the female artists such as the ones mentioned and others continue to write such thought provoking lyrics. And I also hope that women in all spheres of life continue to challenge what is seen as, what to do and what not to do, simply because she is female.
Stooshe’s song “Love Me” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rcxnwv7yaQk
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