Sex - It's What I'm Here For Dahling.

Whore. Slut. Skank. Hussy. Wench. Tramp. Let's be honest - we have heard them all and probably used most of them too. But why. It seems that despite the "equal rights" women have achieved that there is still a massive double-standard in the sex life of today.

On BBM the other week and a message pops up from one of the bouncers of the club I used to work at a few months ago. All it says is - "Let's fuck". Not even a "do you want to fuck", just a - let's go. Now. This was at about 2am so i didn't think much of it, brushing it off as a drunken message or even one of his friends taking his phone. But no. It happens again a few days after that and then again the day after THAT. I ignore the first two and with the third one simply respond with - "No". I don't get angry, I don't get high and mighty, I just say no.

That's when the trouble begins. I tell one of the barmen I used to work with what he said and he says he will talk to said bouncer. Bouncer (Paul) comes back on BBM and says, "Why are you telling Mike everything I type to you. Is he your boyfriend or something? I'm deleting you. You are useless." This made me SO angry. Using the word "useless" implied that simply because I don't want to fuck him I have no other part to play in his life. No alternate function. I am purely there for his testosterone needs.

It made me think even further. Have we really come on as much as we would have hoped since the days of the 1950s, with the women at home cooking, keeping the kids alive and providing any sexual needs for her one and only? Can a woman really get it right? Would this scenario have played out differently if the roles were reversed?

If it had been the other way round, and I had sent these messages and he hadn't been interested but I kept BBMing him, chances are, he would have deemed me a slag, slut or worse. Not only that but he probably would have told his friends about this crazy girl who wouldn't leave him alone. I would be the crazy nympho. Whereas instead, when I told Mike what had happened he laughed and said - "you can't get mad at Paul, it's not his fault he's a sexpest". Well then who's fault is it??? Why is that okay? Am I missing something?

If a woman says no, especially in a social situation when other males can hear the conversation they will laugh and usually respond with things like, "don't be such a prude" or "he's only joking, lighten up". Yet if she were to have sex with these people who are supposedly "joking" she instantly goes from a prude to a whore. I know a girl who's a virgin who has been shunned into the category of being a slut and a whore purely cos she once gave a guy a blowjob when she was drunk. The guy is now a 'legend' for getting the 'virgin girl' to give him one, and now she can't live it down and will forever be seen as a slut to his entire group of friends.

How is any of this fair? And why do we still think like this? The sad thing is, is that girls think this way too. We also have a double-standard between guys and girls. If you hear about a girl whos had sex with X amount of people in a small time frame, girls and guys alike call her a tramp. Whereas with a guy hes a lad, legend, player etc. It throws into question whether or not we have really come as far as we would have liked since the days of being domestic goddesses. We NEED to combat these negative thoughts we associate with girls and sex. Cos believe it or not - girl's have a sex drive too.