The Age of the Cougar?

For generations...nae CENTURIES it has been the social norm in a couple that the male half is older, or at least the same age as the female.  It was normal for example in ancient Rome for girls usually aged about 9-15 to marry a man aged 30-40 years old. But alas! Times are a-changin'.

I don't know why it is frowned upon for a women to be the older one in the relationship. I was accused at school at the age of 17 of being a "cradle snatcher" when dating someone just one year below me who was 16. I faced more grief again when my boyfriend after that was also younger than me...by 3 months. Most people probably couldn't tell you why they think its wrong. If you ask they tend to hesitate and just kinda say, "...well...I dunno...just weird isn't it?"

I'd be lying if I didn't say that sometimes I also think that it's a bit strange and stammer a half thought-out response. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (aged 33 and 49 respectively) had a bit of controversy when they initially got together but after a short while this issue seemed to fade. However I have to say that when I first heard, I also thought it was odd. And like I said before - I couldn't tell you why. Maybe it was because I was possibly thinking he was hot, and closer to my age than hers. But I think that largely it was because if we were honest, we are brought up in a society where it's not normal.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

Recently a few of my friends (no names) have had flings/relationships/one night stands with guys 2,3 or 4 years younger than them and had a lot of stick for it. If they had had this relationship with someone the same sex as themselves and had had the same amount of stick for it, it would be homophobic and socially wrong to mock them. Yet, being an older female seems to be reason enough to be mocked.

It's always an awkward one really, the topic of age differences in relationships. Regardless of which way round the gap is. Who can forget that 16-year-old girl who married that 51-year-old. (Turns out their names are Doug Hutchison and Courtney Alexis Stodden, to be honest, I don't think anyone cared, they were just fascinated by that age gap.) And of course Anna Nicole Smith and her 63 years her senior, billionaire husband.

"Normal" for the man to be older?

But as I said before....times are changing. In the celebrity world recently we have had Kutcher/Moore as already discussed but also many other celebrity couples where the age gap has been controversially, the 'wrong' way round. My favourite celebrity Kim Kardashian was with Kris Humphries, 4 years her junior. Nowhere Boy lead actor Aaron Johnson who is currently 21 got married at the ripe age of 19 to his girlfriend Sam Taylor-Wood who was 42 at the time, they now have 2 daughters together. And of course those of you from Britain probably got wind of One Direction's Harry Styles' romance with Caroline Flack. For those of you who haven't heard of this, it caused a storm not only because he was 15 years younger than her but also because he was only 17. This was seen as bizarre as, in many people's eyes, he isn't even legally considered an adult yet.

Flack and Styles

Taylor-Wood and Johnson

As I said, I think that in the Western world, whether we would like to admit it or not, we are brought up to think that a woman being older in a relationship is 'wrong'. But I think that with everything that is changing in society, and with celebrities leading the way through example, that this view is only bound to change. And I think this change is already underway. Born is the day of the cougar.

"Friends With Benefits" An Urban Myth or Modern Reality?

I went to see the Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis movie bearing the same name and hilarious as I found it, I couldn't help but get slightly annoyed at the outcome. If you haven't seen it but were planning on it and don't want to know the end of this incredibly predictable film, look away now.

They end up together. Massive. Fucking. Shock. I bet you didn't see that one coming. (And in a very cheesy, over-the-top way as well). Now as I said, I found the movie hilarious. For a start - who knew that Justin Timberlake could even remotely act?? Plus, Mila Kunis is possibly one of the most stunning women I have ever seen in my life. Asides from this though there were one-liners galore and I actually laughed so hard that by the end my face hurt. Good movie. BUT. Much as I enjoyed it, it kinda annoyed me how they ended up an item. Trust the all righteous American's to produce a movie called Friends With Benefits only to dash this whole concept after an hour and a half of film. It's almost like they can't bear the thought of people having sex for the sake of sex.

This movie makes out that having a friend with benefits couldn't POSSIBLY work. Surely you would end up in love with the other side? Right? Wrong. I don't want to 'out' any of my friends, so instead I will out them all - most of my friends have had this sort of arrangement at one point or another. Sorry America.

Whether or not it has always been planned, I would say a large majority of my friends have found themselves in bed, on a regular basis with someone who isn't their boy/girlfriend. In the youth of today there is nothing unusual about this.

Most of the time this is accidental. They sleep with a friend and it ends up happening most times they see each other after that. They have a one night stand and keep meeting up - not necessarily for dates per say. Or there's that one person that they seem to be drawn to on every. Single. Night out.

I personally don't see the problem with this. So long as both parties know what's going on, no one is getting hurt and everybody is happy. In more ways than one.

Not everybody has the time for a 'proper' relationship. But then they also don't want to be sleeping with someone different everytime. There's that sense of familiarity and being comfortable with someone, without the initial wining and dining. It's essentially a means to an end (that said in the nicest way possible).

Let's be honest as well, students have sex. (Sorry mum). Students also make new friends. So combining these two things is really just rather economical. Time saving even. We are simply taking the initiative. Isn't that what we are always told to do?

Most people these days haven't been in love with every person they have ever slept with. It's sort of a given. Even in America where they try to make out that abstinence is the answer (more on that later on), people have sex for the want/need of having sex.

So as I said, as much as I loved the movie I couldn't partly help but think that the initial concept of it was dashed. Friends who have sex don't always have to fall in love. Sometimes it doesn't even taint their relationship if they are level headed enough. Hollywood sometimes just need to take things at face value - friends really can just remain friends but with all the glorious benefits.