Serial Relationships - Bad For The Soul.

Have you ever relationship hopped? Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean...going straight from one relationship and into another one. Some of those among us are serial relationshipers - they boy/girlfriend hop. (I love Kim Kardashian but she is definitely guilty of this - at 30 says she wants to be single and by 31 is married and divorced again. Oops.) Now, the result of doing this can be debated. Some argue that doing this never gives the person time to get over the last person, and that surely they are just doing this to never be alone. And therefore, how much can they actually like each person they are dating one after the other in such quick succession?

I am almost convinced, that this type of dating is no good. I've done it once when I was 17, was dumped and maybe out of frustration, anger or maybe just to purely prove to my ex that I was definitely, 100%, dateable - I started to date the new guy just 3 days after the break up. Error. The new relationship lasted just about as long as the one before it and I never had that necessary, relationship "grieving" period. Doomed from the start possibly.

Maybe for this reason it makes me biased. But partly as a result of this and partly from observation of people I know, I reckon that this type of dating - if done on a serial basis - can make a wonderfully wonderful person, a weak, blubbering  mess. Let me explain.

By dating in this way you aren't leaving any time for yourself to be...yourself. What is the need to continuously having someone else to justify you, make you happy and rely upon? There is none.

Now I know, I know, before any of you say it - there are other reasons to be in a relationship other than the ones that I just said, but they are three biggies. I personally think that you NEED that time by yourself, even if it is just to remind yourself that you can be all those things by yourself.

Friends of mine that come out of relationships tend to go one of two ways:
1) They remain single for a while - usually through choice - and take the break up surprisingly well. They have more time and energy to catch up with friends and family that may have drifted and just generally seem to get on with things.
2) Or, they malfunction, cripple and fail. They genuinely don't seem to be able to comprehend why the world hasn't ended, and why the apocalypse isn't in full swing. They become either obsessed with getting the newly-ex back, OR finding a replacement asap (especially if they were dumped in favour of someone new). This replacement need not be "good enough for them", but just adoring of them in general and someone they can call their girl/boyfriend. Someone they can whap onto their Facebook as being "In a Relationship" with. They tend to also forget that they have spent the majority of their life single (at least at my age) and that they were fit, well and surviving previous to said relationship starting.

So why the change? Love? PLEASE. For a start, I would say that in most people's lifetimes they are in love more than once. Yes, they may marry just one of them (or not as the case may be), but I think marriage also has a lot to do with timing as well as love... Anyway, I digress. There are now 7 billion people in the world, if you honestly believe that there is just "The One" for you well...gooooooood luck finding that one in 7 billion. Statistically I have read that there are actually more like an estimated 30,000 people on the planet who would be suitable for you. So chill out -  you will find another one of those few thousand again soon.

And you know what, until you do - just enjoy it ! Believe me - I know that a break up is tough, we have all been there. But when you can - savour the single life. You will have plenty of time when you get a mortgage and children to be in one of those relationships you so crave.