Fun = Fucking

First off - Happy New Years everyone! Hope that you had a good one, for the first time I actually had a very good night which was nice.

Anyway. Task at hand - sex.

This blog starts again with a series of texts I received (this should serve as a warning to all guys, if you text or BBM me some piggish crap, expect to see it here). They were from a friend who I keep meaning to meet for drinks but one or other of us keeps cancelling. Also note worthy - we have never slept together, kissed or had any romantic involvement. So here's the text conversation that sparked rage:

Him: When I'm back in Glasgow you wanna get that drink finally? X
Me: Okay x
Him: Ye have some drinks n some fun :P I'll text you when I'm back x x
[Note the no reply]
Him: That's if your up for some fun x x
Me: By that do you just mean sex?
Him: Not definite no. Just kissing n other stuff n maybe lead to that if it works out like that. No pressure xx
[Note. No reply.]
Him: Is that alright? X
Me: Well I don't really know what you mean
Him: So you don't fancy any fun then x
Me: I do but why do guys think "fun" has to constitute as sex things
Him: Haha don't worry won't be any pressure to do stuff just a possibility x
[Again, no reply from me]
Him: Anyway I'll let you know when I'm back x x

Sorry - that was longer typed out than I thought it would be. Anyway. What the actual fuck.

First off, "just a possibility". Oh I'M sorry, have I given you some sort of impression from NEVER HAVING KISSED YOU BEFORE, that that's what I'm after from you?!

Secondly. "Haha don't worry". I'm not fucking worried mate. I'm not some all holy, virtuous Mother Teresa. I HAVE had sex before. The thought of sex doesn't worry me. The thought of however some guy who I've barely had any connection with, let alone a romantic one thinking that he can just shove the idea of sex on the table and that be okay - THAT scares me.

And lastly, "so you don't fancy any fun then?" Are you serious?! Fuck RIGHT off love. Yes. Believe it or not, like most people, I like to have fun. I like seeing my friends, I like going out, I like doing things that I enjoy. But oh yeah, you're right. Cos I don't wanna get naked in front of you I CLEARLY don't "fancy" any fun.

It's like I was saying in an earlier blog - to guys, women seem to either only be able to be whores or prudes with absolutely no in-between. This situation adds fuel to this fire. This guy is obviously trying to make out like I am no fun and therefore make me feel I have to prove myself to him. And what better way to do this than to have some lighthearted, no strings attached, sex with him?! How IDEAL !!

Just because a girl doesn't want to have sex with you after some flirty text messages or chat at a bar, doesn't make her boring. Revolutionary I realise. Calling her no fun, a prude or boring is really not going to help you either. You lost. Move on. Stop being a sore loser.

I really hope that he reads this and if you are - I will have you know that I am great fun. And you know what, nine times out of ten when I AM having fun - I am fully clothed...Dick'ed.